Food, My Favorite Topic! My Ironman Nutrition Plan

While I’m sure most of you probably only check my blog daily in the slim hopes that one of these days (*fingers crossed*) I’ll post hot Athena bathing suit photos, I think some may actually be mildly interested in what goes into this madness called Ironman.  Besides, I swim in a Burqa.

In these last few days leading up to my Ironman race, there is so much preparation to do (not physical – nothing much more I can do there at this point) I have to admit I’m a bit overwhelmed.  The last few weeks have just been like this:  swim/bike/skip workout/bitch/moan/sleep/run/swim/bike/skip workout/bike/skip workout/sleep/swim/bike/bike/drink/hydrate/skip workout/sleep in/swim once to make up for 3 missed swims/etc etc. 

Ho Hum Ho Hum. 

There hasn’t been much to write about that was different than the prior 24 weeks, but now….NOW….it’s starting to get exciting.  Like ANXIOUS excited.  Like run-to-the-bathroom-every-time-I think-about-6:45 a.m.-July 31st excited.  Those who don’t know probably assume I have a parasite. 

And I’m kinda excited to tell you about it!

So today, I’m going to tell you what I’m going to eat on race day!  Yup, thats right, it has to be ALL mapped out.  I don’t have the option of floating through Jack-in-the-Box twice that day for Grilled Breakfast Sandwiches like my usual daily routine.  Even if I did, it probably wouldn’t be prudent (though damn tasty). 

I had some difficulty putting together the plan, especially because I’ve never had to go past hour 6 on a bike ride.  So I kinda winged the last 2 hours and am guessing for the 5-6 hour marathon run.  Upon closer look, I’m taking some risk of a melty disaster at hour 6 with the Snickers, but I’m planning to freeze it overnight.  And who are we kidding….?  The odds of a chocolate bar surviving on my person for more than an hour or two are pretty slim, frozen or not.  I give that Snickers bar till hour 4 at the most. 

The danger of being a compulsive eater during an endurance race is that all my food could be gone in the first couple hours, simply because I’m stress eating.  I kid I kid.  But seriously, I was one of those kids that would secretly eat their packed brown bag lunch on the way to school and end up begging the other kids for a bite of their sandwich or an oreo during snacktime.  Food issues?  Who, me?

So here’s the plan:  (*Bolded items are still up for discussion) 

Early Breakfast — English muffin w/PB&J + Banana

Pre-race — Banana, Gatorade

SWIM

Hydrate with River Water

BIKE

Hour 1 – Gatorade (42) + Carbo Pro (28.5) = 70
Hour 2 – Gatorade/Water dilution (28) + Peanut Butter Powerbar (44) – 72
Hour 3 – Banana (30), Gel (25), Gatorade/Water (30) – 85
Hour 4 – Peanut butter (3) + Jelly (13) + Bread (40) + Water/Gatorade= 56
Hour 5 – Shot Bloks (48) + Gatorade/Water (28) = 69
Hour 6 – Snickers (35) + Gatorade/Water(28) = 63
Hour 7 – Banana (30) + 1/2 Vanilla Crisp Power Bar (22) + Water/Gatorade = 52
Hour 8 (if needed) - Gel (25) + Gatorade (42) = 67

RUN
Sports Beans (2-3 pkgs)
Fig Newtons
Gatorade
Water
2 Gels

FINISH!!!! 

By the end of the race, I expect my BGL (Blood Gatorade Level) will be well above the legal limit. Hopefully I’ll cross the finish line sweating neon Gatorade, like Mike in the commercials!

Interestingly, in my internet travels to find the Gatorade-colored sweat ads, I found a blog post claiming that Gatorade bottles were designed to look like penises.  Discuss.

 

Frequently asked Nutrition Questions:

Where do you carry all your gear?  Great question!  During the bike, everything is stuffed in my shirt back pocket, even the sandwich!  I have a little container on my bike as well that can fit little stuff, like Gu’s/Advil/Lip Balm. 

For the run, either in my fuel belt or tri shorts, I like to fill up one of the pockets with my Sport Beans and dish them out to myself.  I like to pretend I traded the family cow for my sport beans.  Sometimes when I drop one, I imagine that it will grow into a magic beanstalk, which I will climb and escape the horror of running a marathon.   

What in gods name is GU? Or Sports Beans?  Or Shot Bloks?  Another great question! I’m not sure if anyone really knows.  But my best guess, in a nutshell, is they are basically good old sugar, synthesized with artificial color and other chemicals (sometimes caffeine) into various shapes and sizes, smartly packaged, named, and marketed, with a high price to match to make you think that your performance is going to be enhanced.  Ok, fine, they get sugar into your bloodstream quickly.  It’s easier than carrying around sugar packets.

Gu: (I go with Plain or Chocolate Outrage)

 

 

 

Sport Beans: (I prefer Black Cherry)

 

 

 

 

 

Shot Bloks: (Again, black cherry for me)

Sharkies (I Don’t use these, but I think I should).  I’m sure they make the time pass.

How many calories will you consume/expend over the course of the day?  God, who knows – can someone else calculate and let me know?

How many times will you have to go to the bathroom (question courtesy of my friend Marin)?

You know, this is something I really can’t project.  My last three 6-hour bike rides, I did not pee or otherwise once! Seriously, NOT ONE TIME. That can’t be healthy, right?  Especially considering all the fluid being ingested.  But if I was pressed to guess, I’ll say 3 visits to the port-a-john 30 minutes prior to the race, one warming leak in the wetsuit, 1 stop during the bike and 1-2 during the run.  Considering at work, I pee about every 18 minutes simply to get away from my desk, it will be a pretty light day. And also, all the fake chemicals ingested during the bike usually create a nice air pressure situation in my body by the time I hit the run for maximum propulsion. 

What is CARBO-PRO?
It is concentrated carbs.  One scoop = 27.5 grams of pure calories carbs.  Tasteless, colorless, odorless, and highly deadly like in the Princess Bride (I’m assuming the only person who won’t get that reference, by the way, is my boyfriend Pedro Swayze).  Coach Paul told me not worry about it, that I need those extra cals/carbs in that first hour in my Gatorade bottle.  But you can bet this training is the first time in my life other than when my Jewish Grandmother used to stuff me full of pancakes shaped as rodents (“hey look, it’s a mouse! It’s a cat!”…”but Grandma, they all look like a big circle with 2 little circles on top….”) that someone has tried to maximally stuff me full of calories.

Not my actual Grandma————————–>>>

What is your favorite hour on the bike? 
Hour 4 of course!  Peanut Butter and Jelly!  Paul made me change my original nutrition plan, that looked something like this:

Breakfast: PB&J on English Muffin
Pre-race: 1/2 PB&J

Bike
Hour 1 – Peanut butter (3) + Jelly (13) + Bread (40) + Water/Gatorade= 56
Hour 2 – Peanut butter (3) + Jelly (13) + Bread (40) + Water/Gatorade= 56
Hour 3 – Peanut butter (3) + Jelly (13) + Bread (40) + Water/Gatorade= 56
Hour 4 – Peanut butter (3) + Jelly (13) + Bread (40) + Water/Gatorade= 56
Hour 5 – Peanut butter (3) + Jelly (13) + Bread (40) + Water/Gatorade= 56
Hour 6 – Peanut butter (3) + Jelly (13) + Bread (40) + Water/Gatorade= 56
Hour 7 – Peanut butter (3) + Jelly (13) + Bread (40) + Water/Gatorade= 56
Hour 8 – Peanut butter (3) + Jelly (13) + Bread (40) + Water/Gatorade= 56

I changed it, because that’s why I pay Coach Paul the big bucks. 

But I think I was onto something here.

Next blog post:
“Shopping for an Athena Racing Outfit” 
(Alternate title: “I Thought I’d Be Thinner By Now”)