Today I got an “annual” physical….my first in years.
I’ve had a pap or 2, but darn it if I was going to go back to the Kaiser “DMV of healthcare” more than necessary. I’m managed care’s dream customer – healthy and horrified enough by the system that I just stay away. Conversely, Kaiser is my personal nightmare (other than those pesky recurrent tidal wave/plane crash dreams).
Thankfully (I think), I recently switched back to a high deductible PPO, so the pap can wait. Today’s checkup was really *just* a physical, and didn’t require getting into any paper gowns or stirrups sans horse. I only really got it for the purpose of drawing blood, as I’ve decided to do the Ultimate Reset again and I wanted to track the results internally this time (i.e cholesterol, blood pressure, thyroid stuff, etc) as well as the aesthetics.
In typical fashion, I got weighed (face out – they apparently don’t like to share this info as much as most of us don’t want it to be shared) and measured (5’5″ – i either was slouching, my hair was flat, or I’ve lost 1/2″ in the last year), had my blood pressure taken (normal), and my breathing checked (chest tight, but no wheezing).
Being a very thorough physical, my doctor came at me with some very in depth questions such as “do you exercise” (yes, ever heard of an ‘ironman?”) “do you smoke” (no), and “do you drink” (depends on the week). And then the physical was over.
We had a little light sparring round about my weight, mostly because I’m always inclined to get defensive about it whether I need to or not. I explained to him how goddamm healthy I *think* I am and all the fantastic feats of strength I have accomplished (well except for these last few weeks) while still remaining a good 20-30 lbs. overweight. And I’m annoyed.
Then I pressed for a few extra blood tests, because I think at one time or another, every fat chick secretly hopes that her thyroid or a rogue hormone is the evil man behind the curtain. He may have stifled a smirk, but checked the boxes anyway.
I informed him that I wanted to return in a month post-reset to retest. He continued to checked off different blood work to run and said “I’m sure something will come back abnormal so we have an excuse to re-test all of this stuff after your detox.” Very possible, especially if he did an “emotional eater” or “getting over your ex” blood draw…ha!!
Just as he seemed to be done checking and started to bid me adieu, he wheeled around and said “wait…we better run an EKG while we’re at it – after all, you’re 35 now.”
3 weeks into this age and I still haven’t acclimated. Guess once your doctor says it, it’s official. I am diagnosed 35.
But it got my competitive juices flowing again. And while I think I’m pretty healthy now, after another 3-week round of the Reset, I won’t appear to be a day over 34.
Will the blood test results prove my assertion – you can be a fit, fat-thlete (albeit, a defensive one)?